Saturday, March 27, 2010

Circle of Hope

We all have times of doubt, times of depression, times when we are wonder about the goodness of God, or the fairness of life. At times it seems as though God is tormenting us, that he laughs at our despair and scoffs at our fervent prayers for release or blessing. It can be very easy to doubt God's goodness, and even his kindness and justice. However those of faith always, inevitably, return to that point of trust. When the time comes to choose, do I trust God to work this out or to I leave him to the side and do it myself those of faith, in the midst of their doubt and concern, decide to trust God, not because it is easy, but because it is right. This poem seeks to show the emotional nature of this cycle.

Woeful new and tragedy beride my tired mind
As reasons siren call my fraught desires bind
And summons forth cold faculty to leave my heart behind

What rampant waste desires bring and leave behind such ash
All sought upon the burning plain and under heats harsh lash
And through all he stands above filled with glee, my striven hopes to dash

Such cruel enmity I've earned that drives to this despair
And sets upon the face of God such spiteful mask of care
That sends this sodden soul to look to hope and tarry there

That when this soiled hope is then unmasked and of a sudden dies
My helpless heart, yet innocent, is struck, then riven, and calcifies
Then he stands unveiled, masks removed, revealed in his lies

And yet I ask, but what if I am so completely wrong?
May I know my fate? So certain the he should laugh at that for which I long?
Might he not, instead, sate my need in his good time and so bring me to song?

And so to hope I then return, though foolishly, cruel mask or maybe not
For this poor unworthy soul is not yet that which to be I ought
And perhaps I must show forth true trust that you shall gift to me my lot

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